Essay: On Growth

Looking back over the years, for young people like me from ordinary families, the biggest disadvantage is not the gap in financial resources, but the lack of reliable guidance during our growth—the absence of knowledge and experience. Many crucial matters often have to be figured out alone, behind closed doors, through repeated trial and error. Sometimes, the conclusions reached after much effort turn out to be nothing more than wishful thinking.

Book knowledge was once one of the few resources I could rely on. Unfortunately, I often found it difficult to distinguish right from wrong in books, or to judge the practical value of what I read. On one hand, lacking a deep understanding of the material, I would memorize and imitate mechanically, unable to transform knowledge into the ability to solve real-world problems. On the other hand, some knowledge becomes outdated as times change, yet I mistakenly treated it as a guiding principle for life, applying it inappropriately to the present environment.

Compared to those from privileged backgrounds, my parents and elders, limited by their own knowledge and experience, were unable to offer forward-looking advice or strategies. Their guidance was inevitably narrow or even mistaken. This lack of direction meant that I had to explore on my own at every critical juncture—from academic choices to career development, from handling relationships to long-term planning. The cost of this exploration was often lessons learned at the expense of youth and opportunity. Once an important moment in life is missed, it is hard to turn back.

One of the greatest hidden dangers in growing up is being misled by those with ulterior motives. They often claim to be “experienced,” offering advice based on their so-called lessons, not realizing that their suggestions are full of opportunism and short-sighted thinking. For example, the “shortcuts” in the workplace or the “ways of the world” preached by office managers. Even family members can sometimes unintentionally become part of this misguidance—though well-intentioned, their limited perspective and experience lead them to pass on outdated or even incorrect ideas. These seemingly “shrewd” pieces of advice often exploit our lack of experience, instilling in us a set of plausible but flawed logic. As a result, we waste precious time learning and practicing the wrong ways of thinking, and may even go completely astray in key decisions due to such misguidance. By the time we realize it, the price paid can be severe.

On the road of growth, I have made several major mistakes. Fortunately, at a few crossroads in life, I seem to have made the right choices. At the same time, I have learned to extract lessons from failure. Every mistake is a reminder to re-examine my own judgment. I no longer blindly trust outside voices, but instead actively verify and filter information. Through constant trial and adjustment, I clarify my values and plan for the future with a broader perspective and rational approach, rather than being trapped by immediate gains and losses. One cannot choose their background, but the road to the future is always in your own hands.